Love Avoidance

Love avoidance involves systematically creating barriers in a relationship to prevent feeling emotionally overwhelmed by another person (none more so than a love addict). Consequently, it prevents true intimacy. It can be described as a form of emotional anorexia. The love avoidant perceives love as being a burden, so relationships are experienced as an emotional drain.

• Are you terrified of emotionally connecting to someone else?
• Do you fear being emotionally engulfed in an intimate relationship?
• Do you find you push and pull partners away from you?
• Do you distance yourself from your partners by putting up emotional barriers or walls to avoid feeling vulnerable?
• Do you find yourself being overly critical of your partner?
• Do you avoid intensity within a relationship by creating intense activities, usually addictions (such as drugs, alcohol, gambling, acting out on an eating disorder or compulsive sexual behaviour) outside of the relationship?
• Do you avoid being known within relationship to protect yourself from being emotional engulfed or controlled by your partner?
• Do you use distancing techniques (such as excessive amounts of exercise or sport or time spent with friends) to avoid intimate contact with your partner?
• Are you resentful because you feel victimized within your relationship?
• Do you repeatedly go back to the same relationship out of guilt or find a new relationship to avoid being alone?
• Did you feel emotionally engulfed by a parent or care giver in childhood?